Mary Church Terrell was a suffragette, Civil Rights activist, NAACP charter member, first NACWC President (then NACW), and educator. She was a master communicator working to advance human rights. Strong writing was integral to her cause.
The Library of Congress primary source here shows how words also matter to a seasoned writer, once they have their relevant ideas revised to be clear and organized well. We see changes that Terrell made by hand to a typed 1924 speech honoring Civil War survivor and activist Elizabeth Proctor Thomas (1821?-1917). Click the document to enlarge it: + takes us in close to see her changes.
What do you see? What questions do you have? How did Terrell revise the second paragraph's first line? It seems to read originally: "At one time during the War of the Rebellion the clouds of war which hung over Washington hung thick and low and black." I see Terrell shake her head at the repeated "hung," and decide that the phrase "War of the Rebellion" can be improved.
See the handwritten changes? A faint line crosses through "War of the Rebellion." The -e in the definite article the before that phrase is changed to -a and then -t is added to make that. Then inserted above the struck-through "War of the Rebellion" is this phrase: "in bloody civil strife." Terrell also strikes out the relative pronoun which after war and the repetition of hung.
These revisions craft the line into a different experience: "At one time during that bloody civil strife the clouds of war hung over Washington thick and low and black." That line is a clear argument for rewriting until a "marvel of economy" emerges (Zinsser 68).
Compare the two, and write a brief paragraph analyzing the merits of one over the other; be specific and clear:
The Library of Congress primary source here shows how words also matter to a seasoned writer, once they have their relevant ideas revised to be clear and organized well. We see changes that Terrell made by hand to a typed 1924 speech honoring Civil War survivor and activist Elizabeth Proctor Thomas (1821?-1917). Click the document to enlarge it: + takes us in close to see her changes.
What do you see? What questions do you have? How did Terrell revise the second paragraph's first line? It seems to read originally: "At one time during the War of the Rebellion the clouds of war which hung over Washington hung thick and low and black." I see Terrell shake her head at the repeated "hung," and decide that the phrase "War of the Rebellion" can be improved.
See the handwritten changes? A faint line crosses through "War of the Rebellion." The -e in the definite article the before that phrase is changed to -a and then -t is added to make that. Then inserted above the struck-through "War of the Rebellion" is this phrase: "in bloody civil strife." Terrell also strikes out the relative pronoun which after war and the repetition of hung.
These revisions craft the line into a different experience: "At one time during that bloody civil strife the clouds of war hung over Washington thick and low and black." That line is a clear argument for rewriting until a "marvel of economy" emerges (Zinsser 68).
Compare the two, and write a brief paragraph analyzing the merits of one over the other; be specific and clear:
- "At one time during the War of the Rebellion the clouds of war which hung over Washington hung thick and low and black."
- "At one time during that bloody civil strife the clouds of war hung over Washington thick and low and black."